Corned beef hash is one of those foods that sounds like you know what’s in it, but really you have no freaking clue…
all I know is that it goes perfectly with home fries, hash browns and bacon.

Corned beef hash is one of those foods that sounds like you know what’s in it, but really you have no freaking clue…

all I know is that it goes perfectly with home fries, hash browns and bacon.

PB & hash brown / PB & bacon…. mmmmm

PB & hash brown / PB & bacon…. mmmmm

Good Morning, Grilled Bacon with Cheese.  Thanks for overachieving.
@ The Kapeteria - West Village - New York, NY

Good Morning, Grilled Bacon with Cheese.  Thanks for overachieving.

@ The Kapeteria - West Village - New York, NY

Business as usual…


Double Shack Burger w/ Bacon @ Shake Shack

Business as usual…

Double Shack Burger w/ Bacon @ Shake Shack

Little Bacon Cheeseburger (lettuce, tomato, green peppers) with French Fries

@ Five Guys - Hoboken, NJ

Thoughts: I didn’t have Five Guys for maybe the first 23 years of my life… then shit got real.  Then I OD’d on Five Guys bacon cheeseburgers (Two Patties!) for the next few years.  Then I thought about how I couldn’t function properly after eating at Five Guys.  So.. then I stopped.  I stopped smiling, loving and caring.  I was able to function, but only in a greyscale world.  Life pretty much lost it’s meaning.  

So last week I went to Five Guys.  I got two one patty bcb.  I took a bite, and… I smiled.  Green peppers on a burger… it’s almost tricking myself that I’m eating a salad, but they’re good.  This particular burger wasn’t incredibly juicy, and the tomato was chunky and not perfectly ripe, but still.  good burger.

Instead of eating the fries, I actually just sucked the grease off the brown paper bag.  mmmmm

Honestly, a double patty burger from Five Guys should only be done after drinking (speaking only for myself here), otherwise it’s just kinda irresponsible.  

Shut up, you don’t know kung-fu.

Toasted Sesame Bagel with Bacon and Cheese
@ JP’s Bagel Express - Hoboken, NJ
Thoughts: Because it’s the only bagel place within two blocks of my apartment, it is essentially the default go-to for bagels.  Don’t get me wrong, their bagels are good, and this baby was overloaded with baconness, but they have an estimated 70% failure rate in getting your order right.  These situations may include, but are not limited to: giving you the wrong bagel, put an egg on your bagel despite you saying no egg, toast / don’t toast the bagel (the opposite of whatever you wished), or giving you the wrong cream cheese.
In conclusion, they didn’t fuck up my order this time and this was a great breakfast sandwich.

Toasted Sesame Bagel with Bacon and Cheese

JP’s Bagel Express - Hoboken, NJ

Thoughts: Because it’s the only bagel place within two blocks of my apartment, it is essentially the default go-to for bagels.  Don’t get me wrong, their bagels are good, and this baby was overloaded with baconness, but they have an estimated 70% failure rate in getting your order right.  These situations may include, but are not limited to: giving you the wrong bagel, put an egg on your bagel despite you saying no egg, toast / don’t toast the bagel (the opposite of whatever you wished), or giving you the wrong cream cheese.

In conclusion, they didn’t fuck up my order this time and this was a great breakfast sandwich.

The Hangover Burger (Organic dry-aged grass-fed beef burger with lettuce, tomato, bacon, cheese, guacamole and a sunny-up egg on top)

Golden West CafeHampden - Baltimore, MD

Thoughts: Solid burger, although a bit overpriced for Baltimore ($15).  Everything’s organic, although with a burger like this, I don’t think that translates into healthier.  Liked the spot - good people watching, although it did take a while for the food to arrive.  Tater tots were on point, and there were lots of little tots (aka children) in the restaurant… actually thought there were more high-chairs than regular chairs here.  Only thing I really didn’t like was the bun on this burger.. it tastes like challah, but just wasn’t that fresh (and not cut evenly at all).

Last meal in Baltimore was here, and there were a few other places I would have liked to check out (BBB being one of them), but really… I’m just mad they have Chick-Fil-As.

Grilled Cheese with Bacon over Curly Fries. 
@ The Kapeteria - West Village - New York, NY
Thoughts: America. F*** yea.

Grilled Cheese with Bacon over Curly Fries. 

The Kapeteria - West Village - New York, NY

Thoughts: America. F*** yea.

Good Morning, Corned Beef Hash Salad (bacon over corned beef hash over hash browns).  While you look disgusting, you taste beautiful…

Good Morning, Corned Beef Hash Salad (bacon over corned beef hash over hash browns).  While you look disgusting, you taste beautiful…

Single SmokeShack Burger with French Fries

@ Shake Shack - Madison Square Park - New York, NY

Thoughts: After experiencing Shake Shack for the first, second or twentieth time, your first thought is most likely, "damn. that was good. really fucking good."  Shortly after devour-ation, a thought bubble strolls along… "…and there wasn’t even bacon on it."

Yes, bacon.  First, I strongly encourage all of you to check out this short article about bacon on burgers, cause it mirrors my thoughts…almost exactly.

So, imagine my crazy fucking awesome fucking excitement when I saw the SmokeShack as the burger of the week (and since when does the shizzle have burger of the weeks?).  Yea.

Honestly, I wasn’t that excited.  Ok, lie… but I’m not a huge fan of relish, and spicy / hot is not normally my thing.  In the interest of this blog (aka me), and in an effort to give things I don’t normally eat a shot, I ordered this thing as-is.

Verdict?  I couldn’t even taste the f’ing bacon.  The cherry-pepper relish was way, way too overpowering.  In fact, it pretty much screwed up the whole burger - I couldn’t even enjoy the shack sauce (and there was a pocket full of it waiting inside) without it tasting like the sour, hot, cherry peppery mess that it was.

All in all, I proved myself right here.  I hate relish, “special order” your food if needed and Shake Shack does not need bacon to be super awesome.

Cheeseburger Sliders with Bacon
@ Tonic East - Kip’s Bay - New York, NY
Thoughts:  Coming in at number 5 on the top 25 douchiest bars in NYC, I can tell you… Tonic East is fairly douchey.I remember coming here right out of college, dropping about $125 on shots on a Saturday night and saying to myself the next morning that I will never, ever go back there.  Well I guess the statue of limitations on a promise to myself only lasts a few years, as I recently watched the Knicks game here with some college buddies.  
  They have a pretty legit menu (keep in mind that it is a sports bar).  I had mixed feelings about the sliders - the buns were not fresh, the cheese was not very melty and there were literately 9 fries on my plate.  On the bright side, there were generous tomato slices in each one and there was bacon (+$1).  The burger itself seemed fine - the server asked me how I’d like them done, but I couldn’t really tell if they came out medium rare.  
Bottom Line: the sliders were satisfying, but you can do better.  No, really… you deserve better. Oh, and seriously… wtf is Kip’s bay anyway?  (a: just the crappy area below the crappier murray hill).

Cheeseburger Sliders with Bacon

@ Tonic East - Kip’s Bay - New York, NY

Thoughts:  Coming in at number 5 on the top 25 douchiest bars in NYC, I can tell you… Tonic East is fairly douchey.I remember coming here right out of college, dropping about $125 on shots on a Saturday night and saying to myself the next morning that I will never, ever go back there.  Well I guess the statue of limitations on a promise to myself only lasts a few years, as I recently watched the Knicks game here with some college buddies.  

  They have a pretty legit menu (keep in mind that it is a sports bar).  I had mixed feelings about the sliders - the buns were not fresh, the cheese was not very melty and there were literately 9 fries on my plate.  On the bright side, there were generous tomato slices in each one and there was bacon (+$1).  The burger itself seemed fine - the server asked me how I’d like them done, but I couldn’t really tell if they came out medium rare.  

Bottom Line: the sliders were satisfying, but you can do better.  No, really… you deserve better. Oh, and seriously… wtf is Kip’s bay anyway?  (a: just the crappy area below the crappier murray hill).

Large Half Bacon / Half Chicken Pizza
@ Pizza Republic - Hoboken, NJ
Thoughts: Pizza Republic - although the name makes it sound like a chain, the pizza here is pretty, pretty good.  I usually just order a large chicken pie, which will be breakfast / lunch / dinner for a few days, but decided to mix it up a little (oh yea… I’m dangerous).  They don’t skimp on the toppings either - I’ve always gotten a healthy amount of grilled chicken, and there was an ample amount of bacon on the other half.  This, along with consistently quick delivery and decent prices help keep Pizza Republic in my delivery rotation.  

Large Half Bacon / Half Chicken Pizza

@ Pizza Republic - Hoboken, NJ

Thoughts: Pizza Republic - although the name makes it sound like a chain, the pizza here is pretty, pretty good.  I usually just order a large chicken pie, which will be breakfast / lunch / dinner for a few days, but decided to mix it up a little (oh yea… I’m dangerous).  They don’t skimp on the toppings either - I’ve always gotten a healthy amount of grilled chicken, and there was an ample amount of bacon on the other half.  This, along with consistently quick delivery and decent prices help keep Pizza Republic in my delivery rotation.  

Good Morning, Cheesy Bacony Croissant 

Grilled Chicken, Bacon and Fresh Mozzarella Panini on Onion Bread 
@ The Kapeteria - New York, NY
Thoughts: There are no thoughts, only deliciousness… this all came together incredibly well.

Grilled Chicken, Bacon and Fresh Mozzarella Panini on Onion Bread 

@ The Kapeteria - New York, NY

Thoughts: There are no thoughts, only deliciousness… this all came together incredibly well.

Challah French Toast with Bacon
@ East Bay Diner - Wantagh, NY
Thoughts: Based off of this one recent breakfast experience, I deem Long Island a wonderful haven for challah french toast.  Throw some bacon and a little maple syrup on that ish, and you have yourself a wonderfully sweet and savory breakfast.  Please note that the bacon pictured above is not kosher.

Challah French Toast with Bacon

@ East Bay Diner - Wantagh, NY

Thoughts: Based off of this one recent breakfast experience, I deem Long Island a wonderful haven for challah french toast.  Throw some bacon and a little maple syrup on that ish, and you have yourself a wonderfully sweet and savory breakfast.  Please note that the bacon pictured above is not kosher.